Angst

I never really admitted this to myself until today. I am an angsty person–I always have been, ever since I was a kid. It’s a mix of boredom, depression, anger, and drowsiness. It gets in the way of my day all the time and it’s physically painful, and believe you me, I like to create things. Because I’m guilty of ignoring my feelings, I had to stay away from the other watchers.

I had a pillow and then, after a while, a blanket. Johnny Test came to mind as I laid on the floor. The message was “Angst is real”. I’ve only watched one episode, but that’s al it takes for the message to come through. Then, because I felt like sleeping, The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars came through. The message was “Angst is a choice”. I guess I was on a mission to prove Johnny Test right, as terrible as the show is. But I also believe it was pre-ordained by whoever sent me through to this life.

Angst is very real. It can pop up at any time, and all you can do is push through the pain. I have no intense thoughts, just a head full of nothing.